David J. Evangelisti, II

Personal Quotes and Favorite Famous Quotes…

Posted on September 7, 2018 by surrealist11

“We were put on this planet to work, suffer and endure, not to enjoy life. All pleasure is sinful.”

King Huey Wisdom, high school educator (1987)

“The party doesn’t start until you get there.”

Unknown author

“I may not be the classiest guy in the west, but I surely may be the crassest.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (1989)

“The primary goal when selecting a vehicle should be to select one that keeps you ON the road versus on the SIDE of the road.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (1995)

“They name streets after people like you – one way.”

Unknown author

“You need to be an avid reader to become a better writer, but to write well you must write every day. That is ‘the rub’ when you’re working the 9 to 5.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (1998)

“I have met numerous people that emphatically told me they were never wrong. I immediately informed them that they must select one of four options for themselves. First, you are a narcissist. Second, you are stupid. Third, you are an asshole. Fourth, all three apply.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2007)

“Only after dating a Taiwanese Asian female did, I realize what wildebeests Americans are when it comes to our households. It was so obvious but had never occurred to me prior. What civilized being feels good about wearing their shoes indoors and tracking in potential dog mustard, dog lemonade, dead insects, spit, or other unmentionables? No wonder my registered nurse mother who worked with physicians had said that the Taiwanese and Chinese were born smart out of the womb.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“You can get cancer in this world without even trying so why would you smoke cigarettes or engage heavily in other vices that will surely transport you down that road sooner than later?”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2007)

“The key to happiness for a creative or intellectual is to lead a well-rounded life in all that they do.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2007)

“Nobody reads anymore. Welcome to the impatient pukes laden ‘tech age.’ People skim, read too fast or fail to process and fully comprehend what they read. Only an exceedingly small percentage of people truly read anymore.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2015)

“It sure is fun getting younger.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2010)

“Opening your front doors as a retailer is like launching the browser on your computer. You either expose yourself to the possibility of a shoplifter, a fraudster, or a virus.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“Theft in a retail store is analogous with mail in a post office in that neither stop showing up.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“I find it more satisfying to change someone’s mind through deterrence versus changing someone’s face through a physical altercation, but I am sure some young testosterone-filled male AP associates would disagree with me.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“If things begin to get rough in your gutler I found it to be inevitable that they soon get rough in your butt-ler.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Being frugal should always stop shy of appearing that you are homeless.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2018)

“If you are over the age of twenty-three and call yourself a ‘perfectionist’ or aspire to ‘perfectionism,’ there is a 148% chance you are a moron.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2020)

“I have more time than money so I will frequently use my talents and time in a way to save money.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2020)

“One of my favorite corporate mentalities by executives is expecting quality results with cheap spending. It is not rocket science, if you spend cheaply, you get cheap results – end of story.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2018)

“In America especially individuals are typically born to complain and not born to compliment.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2018)

“Every single person should have to work in either the retail industry or food service industry for a minimum of three months. It very well may teach you a hell of a lot more about empathy, respect, common courtesy, and consideration than many of your parents ever did.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“If you ever question whether men are dogs and women are cats simply examine the affection and sexual desires of women and men in a long-term marriage.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“In asset protection you need at least two things to keep your job. You need the customers to continue shopping in your store and the dirty seagulls to continue ‘fake shopping’ your store.

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Law enforcement officers will often say that they rarely catch the smart ones and obviously that applies to shoplifters as well.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“In the ‘80s an ad campaign directed at increasing crime awareness featured an animated dog named McGruff the Crime Dog who was portrayed wearing a trench jacket and his slogan was to help ‘take a bite out of crime’. In asset protection, the best we can hope for is to ‘take a nibble out of crime’.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Never underestimate the actions of a nut jobbie or someone with a low I.Q. You have no idea what either might be capable of.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“People have asked me why I address particular friends or colleagues as ‘sir.’ Asking me that is about as obvious as asking me why I have blue eyes. It is clearly a sign of respect. And those that do not qualify I address as ‘dirty dick face’.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2011)

“Dating someone you are very much into is a time in your life where you are likely to be extremely selfless. Conversely, once you marry this same individual, you will oftentimes become selfish, eventually.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“As a child I always chose a burger over a steak. Too often a steak (ex. Sirloin) tasted dry or was tough compared with the juicy and tenderer burger. As a result, I have a huge issue with dry meat. If it reminds me of something John Wayne or Clint Eastwood sat on, it is not staying in my mouth.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“If you were to ask 100 long-time married men if their wives were ‘doing them right’ sexually, 98 of the men would say no. The 99^th man has no concept of what good sex entails and the 100^th man is lying.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“If you were to ask junior high school students in the 80s’ if they have had sex before, nine out of ten would respond “no” and the tenth would be lying. Today, I worry that the reverse may be true.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“Be one of the few, one of the proud, one of the employed.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2015)

“I re-defined my definition for motivation when at age 45 I had to accept a temporary ditch digger’s job for $10.00 per hour. On day one I severely sprained my forearm after a foreman pressed me to wheel a grossly overloaded wheelbarrow uphill on a narrow wooden plank. My forearm looked like I glued a slice of Spam on top of it.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2015)

“I never paid much attention to the spending habits of the Irish until I had an Irish boss and developed close bonds with some Irish friends. One friend even joked that he was ‘J-Irish’ when it came to finances. It finally dawned on me when I saw the leprechaun with the big pot-of-gold at the end of the rainbow that it had been staring me in the face all along.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2015)

“If you are ever on a date and the person you are with treats a server as if they are beneath them, pack up your things and proceed to your car or send for an Uber ride and never speak to this person again. Eventually, you will be on the receiving end of that poor treatment from this person.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2015)

“Cheap food can become expensive for the right customer.”

Unknown Ali Mountain Taiwanese food vendor (2014: Trip to Taiwan)

“I was raised in a humorous family. My father is the constant jokester who at times struggles to be serious. My brother is the ‘witty bastard,’ and many believe my first words out of the womb were ‘sarcastic ones’.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2014)

“In general, having sex is not as important to men after the age of forty. Unless you are barely ever getting any or what you are receiving is ‘god damn awful’.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2014)

“Love me or leave me.”

(One of my friend’s no-nonsense responses to his significant other when she attempted to change him)

Name withheld to help ensure his marriage continues

“Normally, when you do something unusual, what you would consider as normal results for unusual behavior, normally doesn’t happen. Therefore, unusual behavior resulting in unusual results for that behavior is actually normal.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (1999)

“Marriage and monogamy do not kill people – people kill people. The only thing that is worse than death is stagnating, not putting in the work and failing to grow as a couple. Unfortunately, too many people do not put in that work.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2003)

“Camping? I do not think so. My idea of ‘roughing it’ is the Holiday Inn.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (1994)

“The way to achieve a happy and low-stress life is by expecting little of others or situations thereby allowing you to enjoy life when things end well and avoiding the disappointment when things end poorly.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2008)

“Relationships are a lot like volcanoes, each ‘cone’ (physical and emotional) should be ‘activated’ through regular sex and arguments in order to release pressure or what may seem ‘dormant’ is bound to result in one gargantuan ‘eruption’ which could lead to the ‘extinction’ of the volcano (relationship).”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2008)

“Picture a beautiful marsh. Visualize: tall reeds, calm water, and grassy areas. Suddenly a female mallard duck appears, a string of her baby ducklings in tow. The scene has beauty, humor (quack!) and peace. BAM! BAM! BAM! — Serenity is broken. A hunter has plucked off a duckling or two, thereby disturbing the smooth flow of life. Life has many difficulties, with your ducks, rarely lining up in a perfect row. So, enjoy brief moments when it does, always understanding that it will not last long.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2006)

“I like to think I am a good person. Even when I am not behaving like a good person, my goal is always to be a good person. Maybe ‘intent’ is only worth partial credit but of course I am not perfect, and I can live with that.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“Many times, I have heard people say that the only reason to get married is to have kids. How uninteresting are these people that they require a ‘yet to be created’ third party to occupy their spare time for the next twenty-one years or more? I have always thought that if you have passionate interests and hobbies, you adore each other, and you share common interests that that would suffice. Silly me….”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2008)

“I am not an overly emotional person nor am I overly analytical. I like to think that I am simply ‘well balanced.’ Of course, my male friends say this makes me gay. My analytical side thinks they are kidding.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“I am always a winner in Vegas. I only gamble at the strip clubs. The ‘game’ is whether it results in a ‘good dance’ or a ‘bad dance.’ Regardless, I win the game.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2000)

“People are a lot like onions; they release information about themselves in layers. The experienced and the intelligent know better than to peel all those layers off at once.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“Basketball is a lot like sex, every inch matters.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I say why buy the cow when you know the cow will stop producing milk?”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2011)

“Love leads us to repeatedly cramming square pegs into round holes. Only with time and experience do we achieve the clarity to understand how misguided our desires and pursuits truly were.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“There is only one thing better than being the funniest person your friends know. It is being the second funniest person they know, as there is much less pressure.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (1999)

“I am amazed that I was finally able to find a mate I deemed suitable for marriage. There is no way, no how that I am pressing my luck by adding the challenges of breeding and rearing.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“Good people leave an impression on people even more so than bad people leave an impression on people. Thus, we do our best to forget about the latter and choose to spend more time with the former.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2009)

“Living in the moment without learning from the past is great fun and easy on the ‘gray matter.’ Until you keep reliving that moment…over…and over…and over again.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2010)

“I am cognizant of political correctness but if it comes down to being funny or not being funny; I am going to nudge that envelope off the table the majority of the time.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2010)

“I place lofty standards on people, but my actual expectations of people are quite low. So is my glass half empty, or is it half full?”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2011)

“Success often comes to those who set grand expectations for themselves. Having elevated expectations of others often leads to only frustration and anxiety.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2011)

“People often mistake anxiety for stupidity. Anxiety often leads to impulsive decision-making which makes one ‘appear’ stupid.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2010)

“I have one of the worst memories of anyone I know. Then again, who am I to judge – I cannot remember shit.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2010)

“In general, stupid people tend to talk too much whereas smart people often listen more.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2010)

“Envision a driver who never looks out the rear-view mirror (PAST) and chooses to never peer through the windshield (FUTURE) and is only concerned with what is inside their cabin (PRESENT). Anyone want to join them on the ‘freeway of life’?”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2011)

“With age comes wisdom, but only if you possess an average IQ or better and are choosing to look through the windshield of life versus the rear- view mirror of life.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2013)

“Life has taught me that if something you consume distresses your gut it will surely soon be distressing your butt.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2011)

“Never underestimate the possible actions of a nut jobbie or someone with a low IQ or EQ. You have no idea what these types of people might be capable of.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Never underestimate the potential danger at the hands of those individuals suffering from mental illness or a low IQ. Concepts like rational thought processes, empathy for others and consequences for one’s actions may be lost on them.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2018)

“Hardly anyone wants to be spoken to while in public, especially when it comes from a stranger, so why waste the saliva. I have no interest in being ignored, receiving a head nod or a weak grin.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2018)

“I once dated someone and over time it became abundantly clear that she was more concerned with what I could do for her fiscally versus what I could do for her emotionally. When I thoroughly evaluated my credit card statement it led to a talk where I ended things with her letting her know ‘I can no longer afford you’.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2001)

“Do not make your emergency, my emergency. It is not on me that you failed to plan your day properly.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2007)

“Taiwanese and Chinese ‘tiger mom’ parents and educators are winning the game by creating extremely successful members of society. Regardless of age, they treat the child like a student attending an upper division university course in their major with a tough-as-nails professor that is not interested in hearing excuses.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2012)

“There is a category of shoplifter that shoplifts because they have an allergy pertaining to opening their wallet.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2018)

“After working in the asset protection field for a country minute you will face the unfortunate reality that the field should be more accurately called ‘loss reduction’.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“At a certain point in everyone’s life they face the unfortunate reality that most people suck. And I do not mean 51 percent. The number is definitely much higher than that.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“In asset protection, at minimum, you must ‘pin the tail on the donkey’ via safety aborts, detainments, arrests or filing cases with law enforcement. Failure to make a statement or create risk encourages recidivism by shoplifters.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2020)

“Shoplifting occurs more often due to cheapness or greed versus actual need.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Poker players refer to ‘tells’ which are similar to ‘indicators’ for shoplifters.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“I am Iron Mike Dyson regarding retail crime. I dig deep and pull out all of the filth and do my best to knock it out of the store.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Sunday may be the Lord’s day for some, but dirty bird shoplifters make it one of the worst days of the week at my store.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Your number one goal in asset protection is to make the suspected shoplifter uncomfortable. Goal number two is to get them to exit your store empty-handed.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“In asset protection, it pays to be as tenacious as a honey badger and as patient as a mountain lion when deterring and investigating theft.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Sometimes it is more beneficial to circle the sales floor like a roving outfielder in baseball versus manning the front door like a catcher guarding home plate.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“If you work in asset protection for a retailer with conservative AP policies you should pretend that everyone around you has their cellphone ready with audio and video recording if you want to last in the position.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“If you are beyond your twenties, you will have days as an asset protection officer where you are strongly considering placing an Amazon next day delivery order for a new spine, knees, or feet.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“When you are in asset protection and on the sales floor, it can be costly to assume the worst in people, and it can be equally costly to assume the best in people.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2019)

“It is best to have the memory of a monkey on mistakes and losses and the memory of a dolphin with subject’s faces so you may avoid beating yourself up for too long but rather focus on remembering these dirty birds for the future.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2019)

“In America especially individuals are typically born to complain and not born to compliment.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2019)

“Asset protection is always the strawberry-blond headed stepchild in a retail company. They might not be the red-headed stepchild, but they are surely the strawberry-blond headed stepchild.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“On a basic primal and psychological level, the ‘cat and mouse’ game facing off against shoplifter’s fires me up. It is a battle of wits, will and strategy that leads to one winner and one loser.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“In retail asset protection, full moons, and Friday the 13th mostly produces werewolves, vampires, and assholes (a.k.a. shady looking shoplifters).”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“AP associates should utilize a smile to disarm legitimate shoppers when an uncomfortable situation occurs during the observation of a suspect. Conversely, AP officers should never smile in the direction of a shoplifter whom you are trying to deter.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“Saving your company money is not in the same ballpark as making your company money.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“As an AP officer behave as if you are the goalie, and it is your job to prevent the ball or puck (merchandise) from penetrating your goal (front door).”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“When I am around a sketchy loser, and they open their mouth my skin crawls. This is not someone I would ever associate with or attend a dinner party with. There is a gross or creepy quality about them visually, auditorily, and the vibe they give off.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“If it looks like a dirty seagull, smells like a dirty seagull and sounds like a dirty seagull, it is a dirty seagull.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“I do not care if it is brown t, yellow t, red t, white t, black t, blue t or green t – it is all t to me.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“Servicing an area in a retail store versus servicing a person creates an unpleasant game of ‘where’s Waldo?,’ but instead it is ‘where’s the dirty bird?’”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“I have seen less ink at a Staple’s store.”

(in reference to a shoplifter with a plethora of tattoos)

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“When I see a ton of tattoos on someone, I am thinking that this is an outward visual representation of physical and emotional scars. There is no way, no how, that they had a ‘puppy dog and ice cream’ upbringing. This surely does not mean that they are a shoplifter, but it gains my attention and warrants at least a little further casual observation.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“Customers wearing sunglasses indoors may be shady (forgive the pun).”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“Do not judge a book by its cover. I have seen kids twelve years old and under defeating sensors, concealing merchandise, and heading for the exits.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2017)

“In asset protection, it is my job to determine people that are strange, people that are shoplifters and people that are both.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2016)

“On the roadways, we all think we are better drivers than we are. You shard it, I shard it — we ALL shard it. Every driver does stupid things on occasion. If you still question this, please remove your head out of your cornhole and join the rest of us in a grounded reality. And save the horn for dangerous or extreme situations only.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2005)

“There are written and unwritten rules in life. If you ignore them, forget them, or conveniently overlook them, there will be a cost eventually.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2021)

“We and our close friends are the rare ones in life that are not normal. The wannabe Darwin Award winners that lack logically properly functioning brains are the normal ones. It took the COVID-19 pandemic to add clarity to the fact that we are in fact rare.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2020)

“One of the best worst things about aging is that females get hotter. I see eighteen-year-olds now that I would love to hook up with if I were single. These same looking females I never would have touched when I was a young man unless it was a twelve-beer night.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2022)

“My advice to youngsters is to do everything in their power to avoid getting older. If they must, proceed with extreme caution in everything they do with their bodies physically in order to reduce chronic pain in the last third of your life.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2022)

“I was never overly concerned with longevity whereas I was very much concerned with maintaining a high quality of life while here. I tend to focus on things that are within my control and avoid trying to predict the future. Live a healthy overall lifestyle and let the chips fall where they may.

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“When you get older you usually get wiser, and safer. Never expect that a stranger you encounter in public will share your same moral code of what is right and wrong. In today’s society, never speak to someone about them doing you wrong. Mental misfits and low IQ individuals will do you harm in an instant. Understand that ‘brain problems’ are even more common than you may realize.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“If you routinely accelerate your vehicle up to red lights, you are an impatient mother f-er, a moron, or you enjoy whizzing money into the wind on frequent brake jobs.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“Unless you are an athlete, workouts in your youth are for aesthetic reasons with the health benefits an added bonus. As you age your workouts become more about injury prevention, injury rehabilitation, or reducing the symptoms from a chronic injury. You reach an age where aches, pain or various injuries occur so frequently that you cannot keep track of timelines any longer. The only good news is that your memory ages along with your body, so this short-term memory leaves you feeling that the laundry list of injuries is shorter than it actually is. Additionally, your pain threshold will advance to a ‘next level’ status so certain injuries you will shrug off like a gnat landing on your nose.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“My best advice on aging is do not get older. Shy of that do not play sports. If you must, do your absolute best to get injured as little as possible. And by all means avoid severe injuries. Failure to comply with these guidelines will result in significant bodily pain repercussions later in life.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“I hate to break it to you, but nobody wins the game in personal romantic relationships. If you choose to marry there will come a day when your spouse looks at you and they are annoyed that they have to share the same space with you every single day. They may still care about you and there is still a bond and connection. They understand that starting over results in the same eventual conclusion. Conversely if you stay single and are still cruising the bar scene or online dating apps in your fifties and bouncing from short-term relationship to short-term relationship you are leading an empty life without meaning and your health will suffer. This story ends with you dying alone. It is what it is. You have to choose what speaks to your personality the most knowing in advance how the story will surely end. But accept that you will not win the game no matter what path you select.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“Life is too short to drink cheap bad coffee. You should be able to drink it straight-up black and not cringe at the bitterness or sourness. If you always need to add sugar to cut the sourness and salt to cut the bitterness you are drinking the wrong coffee.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“If you cannot enjoy or appreciate straight-up black coffee you are not a true passionate coffee afficionado. You are a ‘coffee beverage consumer’ if you require all the flavored syrups, sugar in the raw, milk, foam, whipped cream, or caramel sauce.”

David J. Evangelisti, II, “Coffee Snob Extraordinaire” (2023)

“Many men will eventually discover they are married to a cat versus a dog when it comes to them needing their attention and affection. Whether it is a difference between the sexes, the specific personality or the evolution of the relationship is irrelevant. It is what it is.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2022)

“There are only two industries I can think of that work you like a dog at popcorn chef wages and ask you to adore standing and walking on concrete all day. Those are the retail and fast-food industries.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“The monotonous formulaic rants and spiels of retail sales managers over walkie soon get as old as the overhead sound system music tracks that are continuously reused over the years.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“There is never a better time to treat yourself to a simple treat or indulgence than after something negative has occurred in your life. Be good to yourself. Buy your favorite iced coffee beverage, enjoy a tasty pastry, whatever it is for you, just do it. It can really have a notable impact in turning that crap day into a better day or even a good day.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2021)

“The best worst thing about being over fifty is that you are essentially invisible to the younger opposite sex. The exception is if you are genetically gifted or are being courted by dinosaurs.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2022)

“At a certain age or certain point in your life one’s health may deteriorate to a point where you have to be content with the fact that you still have your sight, hearing, sense of smell, taste and you can still walk normally.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“It is okay to be a little trashy on occasion as long as you are not full time trashy or incapable of behaving classy.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“You know you have joined the older generation when you discover that pumpkin pie has largely become to the younger generation what mincemeat pie was to your generation.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“Without exception when dining out I specify ‘dark meat only’ when ordering chicken. I could not care less if there is an extra fee attached for doing so. Whenever I came across white meat chicken at a meal I always fed it to my imaginary dog resting under the dining table.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2023)

“There is an unpleasant number in aging and when you hit that unappealing number you will have ‘jumped the shark’ in regard to your looks. If you were a supermodel you are now above average looking. If you were above average looking you are now average looking. If you were ugly you are now a troll.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2024)

“I have learned that mistakes cause the loss of money, time, or reputation. Learning from mistakes is crucial and leading a careful life has serious advantages.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2024)

“As a creative with a profound sense of funny I have never claimed to be normal. Life it too short to play it that safe.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2024)

“As men get to middle age and beyond it appears their hair from their heads works its way down their back and eventually to their crack.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“I trust used car salesmen about as much as I trust shoplifters.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“Age is only a number up until it isn’t. And the magic losing number that we eventually draw tends to be around the age of fifty.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“Almost nobody enjoys being in the company of an infant unless it is a quiet one or one from their own bloodline. And that especially applies to an ‘emotional infant’ so act your true age in the workplace and anywhere else where society deems it necessary.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“Your urgency is not my emergency.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“You know Latin cultures are ‘born sexy by nature’ when they pierce their girls’ ears as infants. The message seems clear that beauty, femininity, sex appeal are paramount in this gender marking.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“I think most people eventually reach an age and whatever that age may be they will have experienced so much of life’s bull mud and physical pain that they will give about two and a half shits if their number is called and it is time to go.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“Work life has taught me that the ideal jobs for your body consist of a balance of being mobile on your feet and resting on your seat.”

David J. Evangelisti, II (2025)

“I have learned that there’s nothing you can’t teach yourself by reading.”

Age 78, “Live and Learn and Pass It On” book

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945)

“I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.”

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791)

“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.”

Herbert Henry Asquith (1852-1928)

“Do at least two things every day that you don’t want to do, for the very reason that you don’t want to do them.”

William James (1842-1910)

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

Marthe Troly-Cartin

“You don’t always have to be doing something. You can just be and that’s plenty.”

Alice Walker

“Where the spirit does not work with the hand there is no art.”

Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519)

“I’ve learned that a daily twenty-minute walk is the easiest and most beneficial thing you can do for your health.”

Age 52, “Live and Learn and Pass It On” book

“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”

Sylvia Plath

“Not all those who wander are lost.”

JRR Tolkien

“You can start late, look different, be uncertain, and still succeed.”

Misty Copeland

“That man is richest whose pleasure are the cheapest.”

Henry David Thoreau

“Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway of life itself.”

Daisaku Ikeda

“The first wealth is health.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

“No wise man ever wished to be younger.”

Jonathan Swift

“You can’t do your job and be afraid.”

Meryl Streep

“Find the thing you do well and do it again and again for the rest of your life.”

Johann Johannsson

“A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.”

Frank Capra

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.”

Bruce Lee

“A person without imagination is like a teabag without water.”

Alan Fletcher

“Patience is also a form of action.”

Auguste Rodin

“Nice is different than good.”

Stephen Sondheim

“There is only one success…to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

Christopher Morley

“No civilized person ever goes to bed the same day he gets up.”

Richard Harding Davis, journalist, and writer

“If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.”

Betty White

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

Maya Angelou

“Don’t plan it all. Let life surprise you a little.”

Julia Alvarez

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.”

Henry Ford

“It’s the artists who do the dreaming for society.”

Me’ret Oppenheim

“You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.”

Abraham Maslow

“Risk something or forever sit with your dreams.”

Herb Brooks

“It isn’t just talent. You have to have something else. You have to have a kind of nerve.”

Georgia O’ Keeffe

“When someone tells me “no,” it doesn’t mean I can’t do it, it simply means I can’t do it with them.”

Karen E. Quinones Miller

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

Epictetus

“That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.”

Henry David Thoreau

“I get up every day and don’t let the old man in.”

Clint Eastwood

“Fitness, Health, and Nutrition Cheat Sheet”

Posted on January 24, 2026 by surrealist11

David J. Evangelisti, II

I grew up playing organized sports, took an advanced nutrition science course while in my university and was an ACE (American Council on Exercise) Certified Personal Trainer (CPT) for my university years and beyond. I was heavily involved in anaerobic training since I was a teenager. My passion for health and fitness led to my continuously reading articles on health, fitness, and nutrition. I hope this information serves you well in your pursuit of better health and fitness.

Unfortunately, as I entered my twenties my inner Foodie emerged, and I found it harder to turn down new cultures of cuisine and especially particular desserts (especially pastries and pies). By my late twenties, I began repeatedly gaining and losing 10–20 pounds throughout middle age. “Yo-yo” became my middle name-o. The holidays and periods where life was not going very well were the worst, where more cheating occurred during celebrations or to create temporary joy. I learned that exercise alone can’t offset overeating unhealthy foods. Sweets and excessive portions were typically the downfall that led to substantial weight gain.

NOTE: This content in this article is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of a physician. The reader should consult a physician before engaging in a physical activity or a nutrition program.

Nutrition must be a lifestyle change, or you are destined to fail.
Calculate your body fat weight and lean body mass and focus more on those instead of your weight.
If you do need to watch your weight for a particular reason you are better off monitoring it daily versus weekly whereby the time you notice a misstep you might be five pounds heavier.
Use one of fitness and nutrition expert Tom Venuto’s body weight calculators or choose a good one online to have an idea of what you should weigh. For example, one calculator puts me at 181 pounds after inputting required criteria. 180 pounds is where my MD feels I should be.
Per Colleen Alrutz, “Regarding shedding pounds, diet wins 70% of the time over exercise. To fast-track your weight loss results, couple a healthy diet with regular physical activity. When it comes to keeping your weight off exercise wins.”

(Time.com, Robert J. Davies article)

Per Dr. Donal Hensrud, MD, “For weight loss, diet is more effective than physical activity. You must do massive amounts of physical activity to lose weight, but you can get a better energy deficit just by cutting down on calories. But once you get your beach body, to keep the weight off, exercise is so much more effective. And it certainly never hurts to focus on both at the same time.” (Mayo Clinic article)
Have your thyroid checked at your yearly physical as you get older since it can sabotage efforts at weight control.
Cardio increases your metabolic rate.
Accurately count how many calories you need per day. You may be surprised how little you require, especially as you get older.
There are fitness/nutrition calculators online that can help you determine your ideal number of calories, fat grams, carbohydrates, and protein per day to lose weight. I track my nutrition for about 2 weeks to determine meals that work and get me closest to these ideal daily goals. I highly recommend doing this. The education you will receive is well worth the time and effort. If you are middle-aged or beyond you may be incredibly surprised how little food you require on a weight loss program unless you are super active. This will save you money at the grocery store as well as help you achieve your goals.
You may be amazed as you get older at how little calories you require per day.
Eating increases your metabolic rate.
Embrace the Japanese philosophy of “hara hachi bu point” where you eat until you are 80% full and are “satisfied” and not hungry anymore but you are not full.
Eat less OR exercise more.
Leg workouts via weight training is an excellent way to speed up your metabolism as these are the largest muscles in your body.
Eat your food slowly and with as little water as possible to aid digestion.
Six small meals per day is ideal and eight is even better (“thermic effect”) if you are on a more active fitness plan.
Decrease carbs and increase protein.
After 3 hours with no protein consumption the body burns its own muscle protein
Breakfast should be the biggest meal of the day, lunch is middle-sized, and dinner is the smallest meal. If you are employing intermittent fasting, dinner is the ideal fasting choice for most people due to being less active.
Portion control is a key component of weight loss.
Focus on nutrient dense foods.
Consume solid food vs. liquid food (ex. whole fruit vs. smoothie) so you take advantage of the “thermic effect.”
Ideal combination = lean protein + starchy carb + fibrous carb
Stop eating starchy carbs by 4pm at the latest.
Find your ideal daily protein amount by using numerous protein calculators that consider factors like age, height, weight, and physical activity. The Mayo Clinic site has valuable information regarding this topic.
See the Tom Venuto book for a protein calculator for daily consumption recommendation.
Ignore BMI since it is not a truly legitimate way to gauge your fitness level.
P.51 of Tom Venuto’s book – “Zig zag method” = 1 to 3 days of low calorie/low carb diet and then raise it back up to avoid the “starvation response”
Going too long without eating may cause the body to store fat in response to starvation. Read Tom Venuto’s book for how to defeat the body’s “starvation response.”
Per the 2021 journal of Science, metabolism holds steady from age 20 to 60 if your muscle mass does not change. After that it decreases 0.7 percent per year.
Harness the power of “intermittent fasting” via eating, stop, eating.
“Intermittent fasting” – after hours without food the body exhausts its sugar stores and starts burning fat. This is known as “metabolic switching.”
I focus on finishing eating dinner by 5:30pm and not eating again until breakfast at 6:15am. I began fasting in August of 2024 and had much success with it if I did not give in to consuming pastries with my morning coffee on the weekend.
One method fasting = eat for 8 hours and fast for 16 hours
S:2 Approach fasting = eat regular for 5 days per week. The other 2 days limit yourself to one 500-600 calorie meal.
12-14 hours of a fasting period is ideal for most people.
Ideally you want to have water, black coffee, or unsweetened tea only during your fasting period.
Drink sufficient water when you are in your fasting period.
Dinner time is the ideal meal to skip for most people since they are less active in the evening, and nighttime compared with the morning and daytime. You will need to determine which meal to skip that works best for you.
Preferred method: Eat two (2) healthy normal portions (not excessive for your age and activity level) meals and skip your third meal. Do not snack during the day. And do not snack at all during that third meal you are skipping, or you will sabotage the results of the fasting. Drink water throughout the day, ideally before feeling hungry or thirsty.
Combine 3 TBSP black organic chia seeds + room temperature water + 1 scoop of grass-fed unflavored whey protein if you start to feel hungry or for that 3^rd meal that you are skipping and fasting through. NOTE: chia seeds congeal in cold water so use room temperature water, shake (if using a closed sports bottle), or stir vigorously and drink immediately and rapidly after preparing (ideally). You may need to add additional water and scrape the sides of the cup since annoying chia seeds like to remain adhered to the glass.
If you feel dizzy and the chia seed drink is not sufficient do not risk passing out. Snack on a small portion (1 ounce) of healthy unsalted nuts (ex. Pistachios, peanuts, almonds, walnuts, pecans) OR add a 1/3 cup of oat bran to your chia seed water drink.
Another option during your fasting meal if you feel you must fill your belly with something is to buy a couple of cartons of low sodium chicken broth. If I want to add additional flavor, I typically sprinkle in some Trader Joe’s garlic powder and a tiny splash of EVO and microwave it.
Skipping meals = “catabolic state” = eating your own muscle (a con of “intermittent fasting”). As a result, keep the resistance training UP.
Benefits of “intermittent fasting”: (a) thinking and memory (b) heart health (c) physical performance (d) type 2 diabetes and obesity (e) tissue health
The mediterranean diet is a good blueprint of what to eat per my general practitioner MD and health and fitness experts. Both this diet and a plant-based diet are what most health experts recommend for living a longer healthier life.
Get ample lean protein with every meal.
Avoid “cheat meals” and instead have an occasional “cheat dish.”
High-intensity workouts (build up gradually and safely) can burn fat.
Lift heavy things, like dumbbells, but build up gradually and safely, even if you are older and especially if you are older. NOTE: “Heavy” is relative with age and strength.
Older and inexperienced adults may want to begin anaerobic exercise by using exercise bands instead of dumbbells initially.
Focus on form and breathing when exercising, especially with anaerobic exercises.
Older adults especially need to make a proper warm-up a priority before lifting weights. But everyone should be doing a warm-up.
Vary your workouts regularlyto stimulate muscle growth.
Do aerobic exercise and be sure it works with your fitness level and ailments (ex. bad knees)
Walk at a fast pace where you could still hold a conversation, but you are getting your heart rate up. Do this for 30-60 minutes at least three times per week to lower your LDL cholesterol.
Stand up more.
Sit less.
Park your vehicle further away whenever possible and safe to do so.
Get a good night’s sleep.
Reduce stress.
Track your food intake for fat, calories, protein, and carbohydrates.
Operate at a calorie deficit as much as possible.
Meditate for stress and mental wellbeing.
Do yoga, Pilates or egoscue for core work.
Choose activities that are easy on the joints as you age.
When I incur frequent injuries, I have found it beneficial to switch from weight training to doing my core routine more often instead. Aim for 3-4 days per week if possible.
Rehabilitate your injuries promptly so you can get back on track sooner than later.
Research various therapies to help you treat your injuries or stay healthy. My list includes massage gun; deep tissue massage; TENS/stim unit; plastic massage tools; scalp scraping tool (Chinese medicine); massage for scar tissue breakdown; stretching.
Do not reduce calories if you are increasing exercise.
Do not count on exercise to fix it.
Improve your insulin response by eating foods that have a low to medium glycemic index and limiting foods with a high glycemic index.
Eat mindfully.
Focus on clean or cleaner eating 90% or more of the time.
Eat diverse types of plant foods as you can (30 distinct types per week is a lofty goal but ideal) for your gut microbiome.
Get the support of a science-based program.
Focus on microbe-friendly foods.
Eat soluble fiber.
Cut back on ultra-processed foods, packaged foods with additives and preservatives. NOTE: a lengthy list of ingredients for food packaging is a bad sign.
Avoid cereal and instead eat oat bran (1/3 cup) with chopped “healthy” nuts (1 ounce), whey grass fed unflavored protein powder, unsweetened vanilla almond milk, 3 TBSP of organic black chia seeds, 1 tsp or less of Canadian dark maple syrup (my favorite). Get creative with healthy additions like cut banana, papaya, blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries.
Another combination I like uses oat bran, unsweetened vanilla almond milk, chopped pecans or chopped walnuts, unflavored whey protein and a combination cinnamon/table sugar sprinkled (blend your own ideal percentage of each with an empty used spice bottle) on top and stirred in
Eat healthy carbs (veggies, whole grains, beans, lentils)
Add healthy protein and fat (healthy nuts, seeds, avocado, eggs, poultry, Greek plain low-fat yogurt, seafood)
Eat like a centenarian (beans and plant foods)
Find various recipes utilizing black beans or create your own like I have. Rinse them in water multiple times and strain to reduce your sodium intake.
Eat more lean meat.
Eat your bread LAST.
Eat protein snacks, not carb snacks if you must snack.
Eat protein FIRST.
Snack on cheese
A healthier snack I like is to put unsweetened almond butter on round wheat crackers and spread a tiny dab of honey on them. This goes well with unsweetened vanilla almond milk.
Replace cereal with eggs (including yolk)
Drink a whey protein shake for breakfast.
Eat lean jerky (grass-fed, organic) for an easy protein snack. NOTE: sodium tends to be higher with these.
Eat whole grains.
Eat more vegetables.
Avoid late night snacking.
Put your eating plan on auto pilot. Write out plans with all the numbers worked out and rotate to keep it simple until you reach your goal.
Limit consumption of fruit juice.
Veto soda altogether.
Avoid foods that contain trans fats.
Increase your dietary fiber intake.
Eat a variety of fruits and vegetables.
Eat more black beans.
Cut your sugars.
Reduce carbs, especially refined carbs.
Supplement wisely and not excessively (know your daily maximums through reputable sites like Mayo Clinic). As we age or if we take certain medications or have health issues, supplements may be helpful. I have found them especially helpful with inflammation, blood sugar, and cholesterol.
A daily vitamin and mineral can be especially useful if your diet is lacking now and then.
I read about supplements at reputable medical sites (ex. Mayo Clinic) or health sites and look for ones that have completed extensive research studies and appear to be worth taking. I take supplements for blood sugar, cholesterol, OA and more. My philosophy is the longer I can avoid going to prescription meds the better. Of course, there are exceptions such as when your health issue pertains to cardiovascular disease and risks like a stroke.
Eat healthy foods and drinks.
Eliminate alcoholic beverages or limit it to 1-2 per week at a maximum.
Eliminate or reduce sugary candy, pastries, ice cream to rarely or very rarely.
Satisfy your sweet tooth through a variety of fresh fruit or plain low-fat Greek yogurt, fruit, granola parfaits but do not overdo it.
Your plant intake should always exceed your fruit intake.
Eat probiotic foods or take a probiotic supplement.
Eat fatty fish weekly. One to two times is ideal.
Healthy fish choices include black cod, cod, sockeye salmon, wild Alaskan salmon, halibut, and mackerel.
At minimum take a quality fish oil pill daily with adequate DHA and EPA. It will not be the same as eating fish, but it is better than nothing for sure. Stay within recommended limits as more is not better here and ideally you want to source your omega 3’s via fresh wild fish when possible.
Drink enough water.
Drink coffee
Drink matcha green tea or oolong tea. Costco sells nice tasting Itoen brand organic green tea packets in bulk.
Keep a log of your fitness progress whether weights or cardio. It keeps you motivated and safe by not lifting too much too soon.
How do you reduce “subcutaneous fat”? A: fat burning diet and exercise plan, good sleep, manage stress, aerobic exercise, less carbs, more protein, weight training
How do you improve “visceral fat”? This increases inflammation and causes weight gain and subcutaneous fat increase. A: exercise, healthy diet, intermittent fasting, eat more protein, get more sleep, reduce stress, limit alcohol, lose weight if you are above a healthy weight range
How do you improve your “skeletal muscle”? A: protein intake, weight training, fiber rich carbs
How do you improve your “bone mass”? A: eat protein, omega-3, walking, climbing stairs, less than 7 alcoholic beverages per week, weightlifting, veggies, calcium, vitamin D & K, zinc, magnesium, maintain a moderate weight
How do you improve your “body protein”? A: eggs, low-fat Greek yogurt, whey protein shake, lean beef, milk, peanut butter, beans, salmon, tuna, fish, nuts, seeds
References: burnthefatfeedthemuscle.com
References: hopkinsmedicine.org
References: The Washington Post “7 easy food goals to improve your health” by Anahad O’Connor
References: AARP.org
References: healthline.com
References: prevention.com

How to Limit Injuries after the Age of 50

Prioritize dynamic stretching and static stretching
Do strength training
Listen to your body
Respect pain signals
Do not push through injuries
Focus on core, lower body and posture
Choose walking and cycling
Vary activities
Always warm-up prior to exercise
Allow for rest and recovery
Emphasize proper form
Maintain a healthy weight
Choose low-impact exercise
Do “Nordic walking”
Do “Tai Chi walking”
Swim
Stay hydrated

David’s Fitness and Health “pearls of wisdom”

As a former long-term organized team sports and individualized sports participant and former Certified Personal Trainer with the American Council on Exercise, I have always sought out reliable and trustworthy health, nutrition and fitness articles, documents, and books over the years. Becoming a legit foodie by my early twenties soon led to “yoyo dieting” that has made me vulnerable to unpleasant weight fluctuations over the years. These fluctuations took their toll on my body and my mental and physical health. Thus, the reason I put together this cheat sheet. Listed below are fun, factual or worth trying methods and philosophies I have employed over the years with success. They may aid you as well.

Avoid eating at buffets whenever humanly possible after the age of thirty.
Never eat traditional pancakes as a breakfast entrée after you exit your twenties. You may consider ordering a single petite pancake on the side, but never an entrée. Order Swedish pancakes instead or thin crepes if you are craving something like this.
Ditch soda or diet soda after you exit your twenties.
Avoid eating at buffets after the age of thirty and after the age of forty they should be illegal.
Pizza slice #2, #3 or #4 are not as tasty as slice #1 was. Limit yourself to one slice whenever possible. Always choose a thin crust (a.k.a. Neapolitan style). “Chicago style” is for youngsters.
Eating donuts after your twenties should rare and it should consist of a single donut. Choose a plain cake donut if that suits your taste palate to enjoy the “fried dough” and light sweetness. I microwave this donut for 12 seconds which brings it back to life. I add a cup of coffee, and it satisfies my sweet tooth when I am craving a pastry.
Use grass-fed organic whole milk to sweeten your coffee, not sweetener. If you must, opt for a splash of dark Canadian maple syrup, honey, or a sprinkle of maple sugar.
When you are craving a fatty or sugary dessert choose low-fat Greek plain yogurt with a teaspoon or less of low-sugar jelly (fruit of your choosing) and top it off with a small dollop of light whipped cream. Eating a piece of fruit is even more ideal.
Eating fruit is healthy if you do not overconsume it. Remember, plants should be your biggest food intake. And limit the super sweet fruits like dates.
Exercise is not paramount to weight loss – nutrition and diet are.
If you are unable to fast for one entire meal per day, do a semi-fast by reducing your portions on your other two meals of the day.
Fasting is KEY about losing the last problematic ten pounds. You may eventually get there by doing portion control and reducing but fasting is more effective and more efficient.
“The Law of Nutrition Subtraction”: If I decide to cheat with a piece of pumpkin pie for breakfast, I press chopped walnuts into the top of the pie and drink a water + black organic chia seeds + unflavored whey protein drink to account for the cheat pie breakfast and ensure I still get my protein with carbs. And at least pumpkin pie is better than a donut. Anytime I cheat during the day that means basic math subtraction must occur for meals that come after it.
Other alternative sweets I opt for include Medjool dates (1-2 max per day on occasion); fruit (less sugary ones with lower glycemic index); carrot cake; sweet potato pie; sweet potato mash with chopped walnuts.
Eating a wide variety of plants, nuts, and seeds will not equate to weight loss. It will improve your health, but you still must exercise portion control. And nuts and seeds contain fat so they should be small portions.
The top-rated nuts by registered dieticians (RD’s) are almonds, Brazil, cashews, peanuts, pecans, pistachios, and walnuts. It has been my experience that they all rank them in a different order as to the best so simply rotate or eat a variety of them.
I started my program to get to a fit 180 pounds or less on 5-1-2025.

Per Google.com AI: The Nordic Diet vs. the Mediterranean Diet

The Nordic diet and the Mediterranean diet are both highly regarded, plant-forward eating patterns that emphasize whole foods, seasonal ingredients, and heart-healthy fats. While they share many principles, their primary differences lie in the specific regional foods they prioritize, and the types of oil used for cooking.

Core Comparison

Feature	Nordic Diet	Mediterranean Diet
Primary Fat	Canola (Rapeseed) oil	Extra-virgin olive oil

Fruits	Berries (lingonberries, bilberries, strawberries), apples, pears	Grapes, figs, dates, melons, citrus
Vegetables	Root vegetables (carrots, beets, potatoes), cabbage, kale	Leafy greens (spinach, kale), tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, eggplant
Grains	Whole-grain rye, barley, oats	Whole-grain wheat, bulgur, couscous, brown rice
Protein	Fatty fish (salmon, herring, mackerel), lean game meat (venison, elk)	Fatty fish (sardines, anchovies), poultry, legumes, some eggs
Dairy	Low-fat dairy like skyr (Icelandic yogurt), fermented milk	Moderate amounts of cheese and yogurt (Greek yogurt)

Key Similarities

Plant-Based Focus: Both encourage high intakes of fruits, vegetables, legumes, and seeds.
Limited Processed Foods: Both strictly limit added sugars, refined grains, and highly processed meats.
Sustainability: Both emphasize locally sourced, seasonal food to reduce environmental impact.
Heart Health: Both are associated with reduced risks of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and stroke.

Notable Differences

Cooking Oils: The Mediterranean diet relies on olive oil, rich in monounsaturated fats and antioxidants. The Nordic diet uses canola oil, which is lower in saturated fat and contains anti-inflammatory alpha-linolenic acid (an omega-3).
Evidence Base: The Mediterranean diet is more extensively studied, consistently ranking as the “best diet” by major health reports as of 2026. The Nordic diet is newer but shows similar promising benefits in emerging research.
Regionality: The Mediterranean diet is rooted in southern European traditions, while the Nordic diet was developed by experts in 2004 to adapt healthy eating principles specifically to Northern European climates.

(Drafted: 12-30-2023 and Edited 1-24-2026)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged aging, diet, fitness, health, mediterranean diet, nordic diet, nutrition, weight loss | 1 Comment

Taiwan: engage your ABS (Always Be Snacking)

Posted on October 29, 2023 by surrealist11

When in Taiwan, get ready to frequently apply your ABS, and not the one you are likely already familiar with. Over the years I have learned that in Taiwan the culture appears to indirectly revolve around a similar acronym that Alec Baldwin’s character emphasized in the movie “Glengarry Glenn Ross”. The Taiwanese more than any culture I have ever known seem to live by the mantra ABS (Always Be Snacking). As soon as we arrived Bella and Cindy picked up sandwiches for our drive to the family townhouse. I received a healthy chicken lettuce with horseradish wrap. Yes, in Taiwan the eating commences immediately.

I love the mysterious nature of mist, fog, and rain especially amongst the green growth of Taiwan. This photo was taken on the way to the family townhouse which is located near the top of the mountain.

If you camp out you may see monkeys eating the bananas from the trees. Unfortunately they have already been picked clean. It has been my experience that this is actually “perfectly normal, perfectly healthy” for Taiwanese monkeys leaving nothing for those who lag.

“You cannot open a book without learning something.”

Confucius

My guess is they do not know about the Playboy bunny and Hugh Hefner or dad is showing off his “player” side.

The attic is ideal for people who are short and petite or youngsters. There is even a mini computer desk setup.

For those who are unfamiliar with my dimensions, I am 6′ 1/2″ tall and weigh 178 pounds. Bella is maybe 5′ 2″ and 100 pounds yet earned the bigger towel. She was not amused when in the spirit of comedian Chris Farley (RIP), I began singing “big boy in a little towel…big boy in a little towel.” I was not amused when I observed how much larger her towel was compared with mine. Due to the humidity in Taiwan ultra-thin, small and 100% polyester bath towels are commonplace.

I have been obsessed with penguins and birds since I was a child so this humorous statue is a welcome site. To get to Taipei City we take a community shuttle bus that runs on a very tight schedule. As a result I would soon realize this trip would not be as leisurely as I anticipated.

“I’m a culture vulture, and I just want to experience it all.”

Debbie Harry

Our restaurant is located in a food court in a shopping mall. These handy drawers are equipped with chopsticks, napkins, hand wipes and tooth flossers. I often joke that my wife is AEE certified (borrowed from auto mechanics acronym) Asian Efficiency Expert. Now I see where she gets it.

I know it is seaweed, but I especially like healthy when it tastes this good.

“Anything that walks, swims, crawls, or flies with its back to heaven is edible.”

(Cantonese saying. Source: The Chinese Kitchen by Eileen Yin-Fei Lo)

Tender fatty eel with eel sauce and delicious white rice.

“Talk doesn’t cook rice.”

(Chinese Proverb)

Squid (cuttlefish) is very popular in Taiwan and they prepare it about any way you can think of. Fried squid will always be my favorite, but my dad makes a nice baked squid.

This healthy beverage consists of milk, fresh papaya and ice only. Nearby we browse a fancy grocery store and other vendors booths. I pick up some thick pork jerky for later. We visit Bella’s godmother for a while before traversing more of the city.

Taiwan is not shy on high fashion retailers.

There is a zero percent chance they attempt this in the United States — especially in 2023.

These pop-ups appear in various neighborhoods where you will find crafts, food, snacks and more.

Coffee Planet: premiere coffee bean roaster and coffee house

There seems to be an endless supply of fantastic coffee in Taipei City. I am literally in java heaven. I order a Brazilian siphon brewed cup and Bella orders a Indonesian golden blend pour over. I used to love siphon brewed coffee, but I am transitioning to pour over. It is hard to beat the flavor in spite of it being a simpler method.

They have some tasty looking blueberry tarts and citrus tarts, but our bellies are a little too full for dessert.

Coffee Planet: The barista is making my siphon brewed coffee

It looks like a chemistry lab when they are at work with the siphon brewing process.

Coffee Planet: First class China, carafes and presentation

I highly recommend sniffing in here for a first class coffee experience. Their whole coffee beans are available to purchase by the bag and as their name indicates they cover the world of coffee.

Afterwards we head to Bella’s dermatologist appointment (one of the best in the city) where you take a number like you are at Baskin Robbins seeking a cone or a cup and wait your turn. You do schedule an appointment in advance. It does not take more than 10-15 minutes and Bella is in. As soon as she was out she picks up her prescription at a separate window in the same office. The grand total = $3.50 US dollars which covered the appointment, the pill medication and the cream medication. Let us all shed some tears over what this would cost in the United States. She booked the appointment one week in advance and they do accept walk-ins. Per the CEOWorld Magazine’s Health Care Index, Taiwan ranks #2 in the world and the United States ranks #11. Enough said.

I JY Sheng Fashion Bakery: Coconut gelatin cubes

I fell in love with these coconut gelatin cubes on my first trip to Taiwan while staying at a fancy hotel in Taroko Gorge. Now I sniff them out wherever I can.

I JY Sheng Fashion Bakery: Portuguese egg tart

These taste like a morph between flan and creme brulee in a buttery flaky pie crust. These tarts are one of my favorite desserts at Asian bakeries in Taiwan and in the United States. Trader Joe’s has one in their frozen section but unfortunately it has a heavy custard quality to it with notes of cinnamon which does not speak to my palate.

“Seize the moment. Remember all of those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.”

Erma Bombeck

FamilyMart or 7-11 convenience stores: Cold brew coffee

Most of the cold coffee beverages in these convenience stores are much better than what we offer in the United States. In the United States, only companies like Peet’s or La Colombe can compete.

This company located in Singapore has been around since 1933 and this tender oily pork jerky is next level.

Hopefully you are not scared of my extreme close-up shot.

FamilyMart or 7-11: cold coffee beverage

This is Bella’s go-to and would have been mine, but I am watching my sugars more than she is.

The 76th Anniversary Celebration @ Bella’s High School

This is the largest and best high school in the city and not easy to get accepted into. Middle school and under grades are based on where your family home is located. High school and higher learning is based on testing and placement. We do a comprehensive tour of the grounds and buildings (classroom, basketball courts, track, old pool, cafeteria, music department, creative arts etc.) as she narrates for me.

Back in my speedster running days I would have loved a rubber track like this in the middle of the city. I ran the half mile in 1:55 back in the day. I was fast, but never quick. Today I would be lucky to finish the half mile. Afterwards I get a delicious iced latte at Ikari coffee nearby while Bella gets her hot latte.

“Good food is very often, even most often, simple food.”

Anthony Bourdain

I was in the mood for noodles and there were three noodle shops in a row. We dropped in at the least crowded one so we would not have to wait. The cost was under $9.00 for two people.

“Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.”

Voltaire

Fresh mulberries are one of the tastiest fruits on the planet and this ice cream is a joyful reminder of that. The Snow King ice cream has a good balance between iciness and milky creaminess.

This flavor is always on my must have list while in Taiwan. I wish my Italian brethren could “sniff in” on this goodness.

This beverage costs $100 NTD per cup and is pure indulgence. It is fatty, creamy, rich, decadence in a cup. Next we shop at S3 Beauty Store which is Bella’s favorite cosmetic store. During the pandemic she ordered all of our face masks from here because the quality was excellent, the price was fair and they would ship to the United States. We grab pastries and beverages from our I JY Sheng Fashion Bakery and Family Mart convenience store located near the shuttle bus pickup location.

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”

Anthony Bourdain

From the mountain top lookout near the family townhouse I zoom in for a perspective of Taipei City.

Another pleasing can of latte with breakfast

Our main task for the day is to go for a two hour full body massage at a foot massage spa. My therapist has strong hands and is even throwing elbows into me. The wife and I love deep tissue massage. He even goes “New York Yankees” on my shoulder which seemed almost chiropractic and a bit much for me, but I survived it unscathed.

Afterwards we meet up with Bella’s sister Cindy near Taipei National University.

I am a huge fan of Art Deco and modern architecture. Mission Craftsman style is another favorite of mine, but you will not find much of that over here.

This park is near the family’s city apartment (soon to be sold) which is in a hip neighborhood with upscale boutique retail stores, great cuisine, fancy coffee houses etc. They used to have fitness equipment that used your body weight for resistance instead of weights.

The dumb waiter (elevator) shown is used to send food up to the dining room on the second floor.

We stopped at this casual restaurant because Bella was craving the meatball shown on the right.

“He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.”

Jonathan Swift

Bella and I had these on our short list of tasty items for awhile.

Afterwards we head a little further down the street for a more substantial meal. This Italian is never scared to get after a nice squid dish. The restaurant has photographs on the wall with names of the dishes at their entrance and that is how you order.

“Tea began as a medicine and grew into a beverage.”

Okakura Kakuzo

Kumquat tea is one of my favorite hot beverages in Taiwan. If you like kumquats it is sweet with slight tartness and tastes like they squeezed the fresh fruit into the teapot. It is really tasty with or without a meal. This teapot of tea was actually free.

We have pork jowl, beef and veggie dishes as well.

Sadly you cannot capture this with a still photograph or a video. With about 10 seconds left the little green man begins power walking on the screen indicating it is time to “qui dien” or “mach schnell” your way across the street.

Various family members came over for lunch. Shown above are most of the dishes that were served. One relative serves me Asahi beer. To me it tastes like the Coor’s Light of Japan, but I am a porter and stout (full body) beer drinker.

You do not see roasted sweet peppers prepared that often in Taiwan. Thankfully they are one of my favorite vegetables I enjoy in the United States.

“All worries are less with wine.”

Amit Kaantri, Wealth of Words

Family mountain townhouse: Blueberry dessert wine

It has above average sweetness with clear blueberry on the palate. It’s pretty good in spite of my not being a big sweet wine fan. They offer me Japanese style cheesecake and I politely decline. I explain that it tastes more like sponge cake with a tiny element of cheese added which does not suit my palate.

Family mountain townhouse: Canadian ice wine

Bella was a big fan of Canadian ice wine when we met and we collected a variety of bottles.

Penguin riding a killer whale riding a wave

I could not resist getting another perspective of my penguin buddy. Before we go to our lunch spot I get a milk tea with coffee jelly. I wish more places in the United States offered coffee jelly for their milk tea and iced coffee beverages.

Xiao Hai Shui Chan Yonghe: Hot pot restaurant

Bella’s friend and former student Becky and Bella’s sister Cindy meet us for lunch. There is lobster, assorted seafood, beef belly and vegetables.

Xiao Hai Shui Chan Yonghe: Glorious bowl of fresh seafood

The cost was $20.00 per person. The meal includes a beverage bar with loads of options, condiment and sauce bar and vanilla ice milk soft serve ice cream machine. I had a winter melon slushie, lemon sweet iced tea, oolong sweet iced tea and another unsweetened iced tea.

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”

Orson Welles

Xiao Hai Shui Chan Yonghe: Garlic, sesame, oil, green onion

This is before the stir.

Xiao Hai Shui Chan Yonghe: Sesame, oil, green onion and garlic dipping sauce (stirred)

Once your meat, fish or seafood is cooked you dip it into the sauce of your choosing. I concocted this at the sauce bar where you can create your own.

Xiao Hai Shui Chan Yonghe: Squid in my sesame dipping sauce

This is so good with my sauce.

Xiao Hai Shui Chan Yonghe: Freshly cooked udon noodles with my sesame sauce

I could eat this almost every day. Udon noodles in this sauce are excellent.

Cafe! N is another fantastic gourmet coffee spot in Taipei. This brown sugar crusted creamy coffee with a torched caramelized crust is off the hook. The coffee is excellent and I ordered it 50% sweetness so the sweet is not too much considering the brown sugar factor. In Taiwan and the United States you often have the option at their tea and coffee joints to customize the sweetness and ice quantity by percentage (ex. 25%, 50%, 75%, 100%).

The interior is basic modern and white and the upstairs is very Ikea-like with a mostly neutral pallete and pine wood or white oak materials. It is a warm day, but I think they have the thermostat set for 60 degrees fahrenheit. They have a basque cheesecake, but we were too full to try it.

Dadaocheng: Former textile mill converted into various vendor shops

Bella has never been to Dadaocheng. It is well know for its textiles and vendors selling suits, fabrics, knitting supplies, traditional Chinese herbs, roots, nuts, Chinese medicine etc.

People light incense and say a prayer to the gods.

Dadaocheng: Temples are located everywhere in Taipei City

Temples can be off a busy street, in an alley, almost anywhere.

Dadaocheng: Ancient Chinese medicine on display

There are endless vendors selling similar items. Afterwards we kill time at a Starbuck’s drinking coffee. I opt for a sweet cream cold brew.

When in a foreign land you should get outside your comfort zone and night markets are a great opportunity to open your mind with Asian cuisine.

“Preserve the old, but know the new.”

Chinese proverb

We meet up with Jessie to attend a nearby night market that I have never attended. Night markets in Asia are like an American swap meet, but instead of the primary focus being merchandise, it is food and beverage. An oyster pancake may look like a goey mess, but it is very delicious for seafood lovers.

Fresh papaya, milk and ice in a subtropical country that produces fantastic fruit is all that is necessary here in this simple tasty drink.

Raohe Night Market: Black sesame rice balls

These sticky mochi rice balls are liberally covered in sweetened black sesame powder. I may not be able to sell you with the photo since it is comparable in appearance to cigarette ash, but I find them to taste fantastic. They are less sweet than the peanut version but are equally great.

Raohe Night Market: Almost always crowded

This night market is one of the smaller I have been to but the offerings are great and the crowds confirm that.

Raohe Night Market: Fried sweet potato balls

I regret not getting these.

“You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.”

Paul Prudhomme

Raohe Night Market: Grilled meats galore

I sniffed in for a very meaty fried drumstick at another vendor.

“Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.”

Dennis Leary

Bella always told me that black pig is the yummiest — and she’s not wrong.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

Confucius

Raohe Night Market: Peanut sticky mochi rice balls

These sticky mochi rice balls were heavily dipped in sweet peanut powder.

Expect crowds at night markets but it is always well worth it. Oddly enough you often do not wait long to get your snacks, food or beverage.

There’s not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn’t enjoy a tasty beverage.”

David Letterman

Raohe Night Market: Fresh watermelon juice

This is probably my favorite fruit cold beverage in Taiwan. Papaya milk being second favorite. This approximately 20 ounce fresh watermelon juice cost me $1.30 in U.S. currency.

My Italiano father’s favorite bicycle of all time.

Dadaocheng: Taiwanese trash and recycling truck

In Taiwan the trash and recycling trucks play classical music to alert residents to come out and discard their items.

Scooter with cat showing off its bull balls

I could see a motorcycle with serious CC’s showing off its bull oysters, but a scooter?

There are so many scooters in Taiwan I had to know what their rank was. Per worldatlas.com, Thailand is #1, Vietnam is #2, Indonesia is #3 and Malaysia is #4. Taiwan does not even rank in the top 15.

Starting the morning off right again with egg tarts and iced coffee. This iced coffee is especially creamy and good.

Family mountain townhouse: Pork cheese snack food

These gelatinous pork cheese snacks are seriously tasty. If you like jerky (these are much more tender) or meat snacks and cheese you should be fully vested in these.

A pig wearing a cheese hat makes for one hilarious sack.

Family mountain townhouse: Taro mochi cakes

Taro is in the root vegetable (think sweet potato) family and used in many desserts and beverages in Taiwan and other Asian countries. Taro mochi cakes are one of my favorite Asian desserts of all time. This brand is pretty good, but there are better.

“Food is culture. Food is an identity, a footprint of who you are.“

Lidia Bastianich

“I Love Woosa”: Fresh passionfruit juice

If you like passionfruit, this is a beauty on a warm day like today.

This has become very popular in Taiwan. Either orange or lemon is utilized to make a refreshing iced coffee beverage. Bella buys LaColombe Nitro Cold Brew canned coffee by the case. It is a nitrous infused cold brew coffee that uses Sicilian lemons.

Yes, in Taiwan you can get a fantastic gourmet cheeseburger. “Chuck, I want my double burger.” Can you name that film reference? The waiter brought my cheese out in a sizzling mini skillet and dramatically poured the cheese over ‘Chuck’s’ burger.

Woosa: Honey vanilla ice cream souffle with whipped cream

I have learned to appreciate chocolate over the years, but at heart I am all about the vanilla. This is a Japanese style souffle. My tasty meal costs about $21.00 U.S. dollars. It even includes an iced coffee latte (not shown).

A vendor in the food court area of the mall. Not that you would want to eat here, but you could if you are the “eat to live” type. I pick up some of my favorite brand of taro mochi cakes at a vendor in this mall.

Shan Mai brand taro mochi cakes are likely the best I have ever had.

Poya pharmacy: King penguin or bull oyster condoms you say?

I love penguins but I think I will pass. This store is similar to a CVS. We visit a fancy grocery store located in a basement for some fruit and miscellaneous items.

Bella adores a nicely done canele pastry. I am a fan as well and these are pretty nice.

Bella helped me figure out the Chinese characters so I could choose ones lower in sugar. This one is around 10grams. It is not as enjoyable as the higher sugar ones, but I mix these in for “health purposes”.

This one actually tastes better and is about 14 grams of sugar and is about perfect for me.

Fancy condominiums with Euro architecture

These are located at the base of the mountain where the family lives.

These are another condominium option at the base of the mountain.

Howard Hotel: Yangtze River (duck restaurant)

This crispy eel is very crunchy with garlic, spice and sweet eel sauce.

This sweet fried pork is tender and good.

Howard Hotel: Yangtze River restaurant: “Duck tacos”

These are not actually duck tacos, but that is my slang term for them. See image below.

This is the pre-wrap of the “duck taco”. Yum City U.S.A.!!! Sweet, fatty, crunchy veggies and thin doughy goodness.

You can pick and choose how you want your duck order to be made into various dishes. We choose duck lettuce wraps as one of ours.

“As long as there’s pasta and Chinese food in the world, I’m okay.”

Michael Chang, retired professional tennis player

Howard Hotel: Euro style old skool phone booth

Talk about a trip down Nostalgia Lane. I feel like I am watching a 1940s’ or 1950s’ film set in Europe.

The abundance of trees add beauty to this city.

This coffee house is behind Bella’s high school. You could easily transport it to downtown Santa Cruz and the UCSC students would enter in flocks.

Coffee house: Yellow bourbon Brazil natural iced coffee

I love Brazilian coffee but mine was not the strongest player ordered today.

Coffee house: Honey Sicilian iced coffee

Bella got her Sicilian iced coffee in a double-wall glass.

“Coffee is the official beverage of culture.”

Andrea Illy

All of us share a apple turnover pastry with what little belly space we have left. The owner of this shop was in mass media communications for over 20 years before spending approximately the last 13 years running this coffee house.

The interior design is very eclectic and Bohemian with a nice Mission table lamp I would not mind borrowing.

You know it’s hip when they utilize an old classic bourbon whiskey bottle for drinking water at the table.

They are cool from A to Z.

Ponderosa Steakhouse: A chain popular in the 80s’

I do not think I have seen one of these in the United States since the 1980s’. Wow! Per Wikipedia.com, as of October of 2022 only 17 locations remain open worldwide.

Bella is losing her mind over her peeps exotic pet choices.

We grab some bread and pastries for breakfast.

This cake is similar to a butter cake with light sweetness, mochi and macademia nut inside. They are great with a touch of butter on top and hot coffee. I sure am having fun at breakfast.

Family mountain townhouse: Bolopan: Portuguese egg tart

Another tasty rendition of my beloved egg tart.

Family mountain townhouse: View from near the mountain top

This shot was taken after a substantial rain.

Family mountain townhouse: My favorite sports drink in Taiwan

The flavor is very grapefruit forward and my dad and I tore these up here on warm days.

I could not figure out why my wife rarely used our dishwasher in California until I observed one of these. Apparently dishwashers are not big in Taiwan.

When you are not scared about 20 grams of sugar I highly recommend this one. Good balance of coffee, whole milk and sweet.

These sculptures very much remind me of the artist Salvador Dali. I am a huge fan and have a collection of Dali framed prints, artist renditions, pictures books and collectibles.

Pretty cool pieces on display.

“Politics is downstream from culture. “Politics is downstream from culture.”

Ben Domenech

This area features various indoor buildings that feature local creatives selling their beverages, foods, snack and arts and crafts. This is another area that Bella has never been to. If we had more time this would have been a great place to camp out for more personal souvenir shopping and enjoyment.

This vendor was selling by the bottle and you can see they are dialed in on what is trendy and offer some culturally representative beers as well.

This old skool record shop shot is for my brother and his musician wife.

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

Abraham Lincoln

You know the coffee is next level when they have a chandelier outside the establishment.

They were ranked #1 in the world in 2019. I order a iced whiskey latte with Balvenie 12 year old double wood rye whiskey. It was creamy, soft, deliciousness with woody goodness and the whiskey puts on the finishing touch without any burn. This will surely lead to my own rendition at home since I already make bourbon-infused cold brew coffee.

Around the corner from Simple Kafka I see this dog that looks quite similar to my pup from my childhood and early adulthood. He was a beautiful dog that was half Husky and half Doberman Pinscher.

We meet Bella’s aunt here for dinner with sister Cindy and her boyfriend Alan joining us. Bella’s aunts son-in-law owns this restaurant. The rooms are semi-private and ideal for conversing and enjoying great food.

I love that you can get a creamy iced milk tea almost anywhere in Taiwan. This blend of coffee, black tea, whole milk, sweetener is one of my favorites in the United States and Taiwan. It becomes much more interesting marrying the two. There is a perfect color for iced latte’s and this color for this beverage is perfect with the java and tea flavors prevailing slightly above the milk.

We are eating beef, pork, veggies and the clam hotpot is really good.

“I like to eat and I like the diversity of foods.”

David Soul

Bella does not eat tomatoes much and I am unable to for heath restrictions, but I taste a nibble and they are good.

Impressive looking and tasting.

This simple dessert features a lightly sweet bun with a firm shiny exterior and airy interior with pads of butter inserted. There is sweet on the exterior and salty on the interior. The salty sweet train is on the move. Choo! Choo!

“I’m obsessed with Chinese food and culture. It’s food that I adore above all others.”

Andrew Zimmern

In the alley you can see the illuminated Taipei 101 Tower. It was the tallest building in the world from 2004 to 2009. I have been up to the observation platform twice.

You know you are somewhere in Asia when you are in a compact Ford wagon and the camera technology is this exceptional.

This shot was taken off the second floor patio in the early morning hours of our final day in Taiwan.

Family mountain townhouse: Taiwanese sunrise

It may not have been the wisest to wander out here with crusty eyeballs in the early morning hours. Thankfully it is not slippery.

Family mountain townhouse: Suntory Orange alcoholic beverage

It is almost like a San Pellegrino carbonated orange soda with alcohol (3%) added. It is medium sweet, barely sour if at all, and I am a big citrus fan so it is a gem.

Family mountain townhouse: White grape alcoholic beverage

Bella opted for a white grape cocktail in a can and this is pretty good too.

Family mountain townhouse: Taiwanese dessert called “Spanish cake”

Mom calls this “Spanish cake”. It tastes like a bread pudding was morphed with a flan and I am not complaining one bit. I think my dad would tear this up.

Taipei Taoyuan Airport: Bella earns access to the VIP lounge

They have about four or more levels of airport lounges. She is kind enough to bring me some snacks and beverage. And then we are off to California.

THE END!!!

Posted in Food Reviews, Travel | Tagged coffee planet, dadaocheng, egg tart, honey sicilian iced coffee, I Jy sheng, i love woosa, japanese souffle, kafka coffee house, pork jerky, sham mai taro cake, Sicilian iced lemon coffee, sicilian lemon iced coffee, simple kafka, simple kafka coffee house, snow king, spanish cake, taipei, taiwan, taiwan hot pot, taiwanese hot pot, taro mochi cakes, xing fu tang, yangtze river duck restaurant | 2 Comments

Christmastime in San Luis Obispo

Posted on March 5, 2023 by surrealist11

“Nothing ever seems too bad, too hard, or too sad when you’ve got a Christmas tree in the living room.”
Nora Roberts

It has been a country minute since we have enjoyed a relaxing holiday visit to Central California. In the past we frequented Carmel, Monterey and Cambria. This year we settled on Pismo Beach since it was essentially new to us and close to areas like Morro Bay, Cambria, and San Luis Obispo.

If you want to enjoy a recreation of the Christmas Market experiences from Europe, check out the Cambria Christmas Market at the Cambria Pines Lodge. We attended it in its infancy about a decade ago and thoroughly enjoyed it.

See below for a slide show:

https://cambriachristmasmarket.com/

During this trip I will be reminded that my wife is a city girl through and through. And I am a suburbs boy who loves “visiting” the city. Since moving to south Orange County about 15 years ago I think I appreciate the city life more than I did when I was growing tired of living in Los Angeles. I miss the food, culture, diversity, architecture and excitement of LA, but not the smog, crowded conditions, traffic, filth and noise. I feel more rural where we now live having a strawberry farm about a handful of miles away and an absence of a real downtown, or city center in Orange County. I see how my wife comes alive in downtown’s, even smaller ones. And I will admit that I can now relate.

“Normalcy to me is enjoying the simple things in life.”
Atticus Shaffer

They say that we should enjoy the simpler things in life. One of those for me is a winter drive on the 101 freeway as you leave Santa Barbara and see the green rolling hills, cows, and trees during this windy stretch of roadway. It relaxes me and reminds me that I am on vacation and heading into Central California. Our first stop is to have lunch in Santa Barbara at Lure Fish House.

The charbroiled oysters with Parmesan cheese, butter, garlic and parsley equated to next level deliciousness. In the past decade we delved beyond fried oysters and have become true fans experiencing them prepared in various ways. This marks one of the best oyster experiences of our lifetime. And the photo does it justice which is not always the case.

The presentation of the seafood louie salad was significant contrasted with the white plate and featured Dungeness crab, Pacific shrimp, avocado, asparagus, tomato and seven-minute egg. It was light on dressing, big on presentation, texture, freshness, variety and healthy tastiness.

The newness and very idea of this intrigued me so I had to sniff in. It is not a mayo style nor a vinegary style. The pineapple chunks were a bit lacking and not evenly distributed. It felt more like a novelty menu addition versus a well executed side dish. Maybe adding some sour tang and a more finely chopped slaw would make it more interesting from a textural standpoint and push the palate in multiple directions. It provided me some additional vegetable and fruit which made it worthwhile in spite of its shortcomings.

Their lobby presented well with Christmas flair. The hotel offers breakfast dining and wine tasting most evenings.

There is a partial ocean view from our room. Notice the cloud formation which would be a common theme on this trip.

Our room is a nice size for an oceanside hotel with above average features.

This is an “aesthetically pleasing to the eye” above average contemporary boutique style hotel with plenty to offer. The location is close to the pier, but it is no Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk with one casual food option and no entertainment on the pier itself. The guest rooms are modern with a ocean theme and rustic elements incorporated.

They have a bar/restaurant on the roof and fortunately they shut it down at a reasonable hour for guests relaxing in their rooms below. The fitness center is not bad with a variety of cardio equipment and free weights. The cable pulley system is not well maintained and is very “herky jerky” which is not kind on the joints so I passed on that. It needs some serious lubrication and maintenance says this former certified personal trainer with ACE. The valet parking is pricey, but the valet is very efficient when you text them to pull your car. They prove to be 3 for 4 on excellent timeliness and efficiency.

The main con is the housekeeping and “quality control”. The rooms are pleasingly furnished with two high quality robes, but one has what appears to be sizable moth holes eaten through, or they are simply very old and “torn up from the floor up”. The rest of my comments I will save for Yelp because it got a little “snasty”.

“Snasty” defined:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Snasty

The reclaimed wood look and quartz counters are nice details. Our fridge houses our canned cocktails and bottled water.

We take a brief stroll near the pier before heading to dinner.

Rosa’s Italian Restaurant: Shrimp and scallop pasta

They provide fresh outstanding sourdough (thankfully mildly sour) bread with butter and olive oil at the table. Neither of us like sourdough bread (or too much sour flavor in general), but this does not slow us down from indulging.

Excuse the mediocre photo which does not do this spectacular dish justice. I am hungry and underestimate how dim the lighting is. Yum City USA! As usual, Bella wins the unofficial “Best in Show” award. I thought I looked over the menu thoroughly, but I missed this dish which is an obvious choice for my palate. It features Mexican wild white prawns and bay scallops tossed with pesto and sun-dried tomatoes over capellini pasta.

My shrimp scampi is very good in a white wine sauce which is garlicky and lemony (not oily or creamy), but it is definitely playing second fiddle to Bella’s food. Their side meatball with marinara sauce is a great add-on.

Bella adores a great affogato dessert and this is a quality rendition with bold espresso and vanilla gelato.

Rosa’s Italian Restaurant: Mascarpone cheesecake

I hoped for a softer texture, but their mascarpone cheesecake is creamy and delicious. Lemon raspberry “tang” added to the plate.

Don Corleone (a.k.a. Marlon Brando) joins me in the can (a.k.a. restroom).

“I can’t remember the last time you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee.”
Don Vito Corleone

Back at our hotel I enjoy a local bourbon whiskey mule over ice. This is alarmingly good for a canned cocktail and the best canned mule I have consumed to date.

Penny’s All American Cafe: “Dave’s Mess”

This old skool diner features a waiting list via a yellow paper legal pad on a podium on their patio. Unfortunately, it is raining cats and dogs so the pen to pad experiment makes it a fun game for the host to determine who is next as if they were written with disappearing ink. But I enjoy going retro and not being handed a pager or being asked to provide a cell number.

“Dave’s Mess” is not my creation, but an actual menu choice that Bella is very much into.

Penny’s All American Cafe: Croissant sandwich supreme

I love a good croissant breakfast sandie with sausage, cheddar cheese, and crispy hash browns. These browns are fairly crispy, but lack the ideal crispy crunch I achieve at home by flattening them out and getting liberal with the avocado oil (high heat point). The sandie is great with gooey eggy goodness leaking everywhere. I go through a boatload of napkins with wiping up my seriously slippery paws.

It is very picturesque behind the downtown main drag of Higuera Street.

“I feel sorry for people that don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel for the rest of the day.”
Frank Sinatra

We do a flight of various reds. Many years ago we had dropped in here to pick up a half case of my favorite zinfandel by Minassian-Young. That wine featured a pop of blackberry jam and fruit that rode well above the high alcohol content common with zins. Unfortunately, they no longer carry it. There are no winners worth purchasing, but a couple are pretty good and getting our “buzz on” did not hurt for our walk around downtown in the rain.

“Uh-oh, out of alcohol. Better call wine-one-one.”
Anonymous

My local bourbon whisky mule beverage is so popular they decorated a Christmas tree with it.

Our first stop in downtown results in our buying fresh buccatini pasta and this handcrafted bourbon barrel maple syrup. Bourbon and maple are two of my favorite combinations of all time. Whether it ends up in my coffee, yogurt, whiskey or baked goods, I am fully vested. I have been using bourbon-infused coffee beans to make my own cold brew bourbon coffee that I top off with Organic dark Canadian maple syrup.

“I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup. I love maple syrup! I love it on pancakes, I love it on pizza! I love to take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?”
Vince Vaughn (his character Jeremy Grey in “Wedding Crashers”)

This area is borderline stunning and reminds me of Northern California or the Pacific Northwest.

Dad is a big auto racing fan and owned a blue fiat sports car when we were kids. He would be a fan of this business in spite of it not featuring Italian sports cars.

This looks like a nice hotel for our next visit. Hotel SLO is another option that we will need to consider.

Bella orders an affogato and I go with a vanilla bean latte. The java is quality so I purchase a couple of different sacks to go.

Bella cannot turn down an affogato unless the ingredients are a miss.

While here I enjoy the small town talk of two local employees of Scout. One girl had just finished her shift as cashier while the other had just begun her shift as barista and was serving and engaging with the girl while she sat at the counter consuming her tasty beverage. It was a temporary flashback to the university years and similar moments I had in Northern California.

Downtown San Luis Obispo: Bubblegum Alley

Snasty (see definition cited earlier) may be the understatement of the century for this wall of no longer pliable “Avant Garde tooth jam art”. I apply three masks, latex gloves and a pair of safety glasses as I pretend I am an adventurous Tony Shalhoub in an episode of “Monk” as I cross through the mouthy bacteria alley. Just kidding. I pass on the offer altogether.

Since I was a film journalism major in university I feel inclined to include an extreme close-up for artistic reasons.

Here is the history of Bubblegum Alley:

https://californiathroughmylens.com/bubblegum-alley-gum-wall-san-luis-obispo/

Downtown San Luis Obispo: “Old skool” store front

They do not make them like this anymore. And with brick and mortar retail going mostly the way of the Dodo bird, we may not see too many retail stores (excluding grocery) in general much longer.

This hotel looks trendy and hip and might subtract a couple of decades off of our true ages just being in its elements. It is located just off of downtown. Sadly we act our age and attempt to sneak in for an “early bird” dinner in their small dining room. With an over two hour wait time we bow out falling back on our true ages. Hopefully we can “get our youth on” and stay here and dine here next time.

IMHO, Higuera Street and downtown San Luis Obispo is like a junior version of State Street in Santa Barbara with less chain stores.

They are closed, but the signage has me very curious as to what the heck they put in those shakes. I have created about a dozen delicious morning breakfast shakes with almond butter, chia seeds, whey protein, maple syrup, oat bran being some of the consistent ingredients. Stay tuned as I will be posting these recipes on my blog in the near future.

This is located near the mission and even has a separate guest house (red structure on the left) on the property.

“It’s a little bit embarrassing to say but… I wanted to be a penguin.”
Kei Nishikori

It makes me think of the movie “Mannequin” and the idea of spending the night in penguin paradise.

“Penguins, it turns out, are pretty fucking delightful.”
Kira Jane Buxton, Hollow Kingdom

For dinner we eat at the Thai Palace Restaurant in downtown. We sniff in on some of our usual suspects such as Tom Kha soup, Larb and Chicken Panang curry. It is standard tasty Thai cuisine so I will veto including the photos.

I applied to attend California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo, but was unable to attend in my desired major of journalism due to it being impacted. Since I was transferring from a junior college, hanging around and waiting it out while working on undergraduate courses was no longer an option. It is unfortunate as I really did like the academic reputation, area, and campus.

It is more reasonably priced than the nearby ocean front Sandpiper Golf Course so we play here.

Nice looking cloud formations with vineyards on the hillsides. The greens are in excellent shape, but I would expect the carts to have GPS for a course of this quality level.

Numerous tee boxes are chewed up or patchy and some fairways are in better shape than others. I anticipated a greener course since the rolling hills off the 101 Freeway in Goleta are super green, but this is still better looking than many courses in our area. There is nothing boring here with lots of variety from hole-to-hole and plenty of hilly ups and downs.

We are losing daylight but enjoying the course and visuals.

Going full circle this course is not ugly at sunset.

The grilled artichoke with spicy mayo and another sauce is fantastic and has been a favorite appetizer of ours over the years. Our holiday trips on the Central coast gave us access to excellent artichoke appetizers almost everywhere we went due to it being a prime growing region.

They even have a large wood burning river rock fireplace going. But of course I forget to capture an image.

Bella says this glistening white fish tastes as good as it looks. I have the Timbers burger (chuck, brisket, short rib) with tomato bacon jam, arugula, and blue cheese on a brioche bun. The photos are not great due to the dim lighting in the dining room, but the burger is money (a.k.a. yum).

My kind of old skool rustic restaurant, inside and out.

“May you never be too grown up to search the skies on Christmas Eve.”

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night…

THE END

Posted in Food Reviews, Travel | Tagged bubblegum alley, central coast wines, glen annie golf club, inn at the pier, larder market, lure fish house, penny's all american cafe, pennys all american cafe, rosa's italian restaurant, rosas italian restaurant, scout coffee, timber's roadhouse, timbers roadhouse | 1 Comment

“The Midwest Meets the East Coast”

Posted on October 21, 2022 by surrealist11

“We travel for romance, we travel for architecture, and we travel to be lost.”
Ray Bradbury

This travel piece marks my return to writing an occasional (at minimum) food and travel blog. I have taken a few years off to write my asset protection retail theft and fraud book that has been a labor of love for the past five years. With it being complete (unpublished) I was motivated to return to writing about food, beverage, and travel. I often considered how much some of my friends and family had enjoyed these blogs, and I looked forward to having the time to share them again. Nobody was a bigger fan and enthusiastic about reading and viewing my latest food and travel explorations than my Uncle Pete. In fact, whenever I was out dining and sending photos of the cuisine in real time Uncle Pete would frequently be firing back texts with enthusiastic questions regarding the names of the dishes and the specific ingredients.

Sadly, we lost Uncle Pete suddenly in late September so I will be unable to share this trip with him, excluding the images I had already sent prior to his passing. This loss was a major gut punch for all of his family and friends, but especially for my father (Butch). They were literally “birds of a feather”. My dad lost his little bro, golf buddy, and best friend — all at once. My brother’s family and I attended the wake, and the funeral and somehow, some way, we survived it. As we all must do, in our own individual way. Uncle Pete had an effortless appealing personality, and warmth. I cannot comprehend that that man is no longer present and accounted for. It does not compute very well with me. I will miss the warm Italiano embraces, entertaining comical rounds of golf, wise cracks, or humorous conversations shared over a glass of vino.

“Grief is the price we pay for love.”
Queen Elizabeth II

True to our Italian heritage, Uncle Pete had been making wine out of his basements since 2013. In 2018, my dad and Pete began making salami in the basement as well. Our passion for great food and remarkable wine was one thing Pete and I shared. I admired and related well to Uncle Pete with him being the youngest brother, funny, well-educated, very intelligent, worldly, witty, and similar to me in that he had a reclusive side. We never discussed it, but I sensed that like me, he valued his alone time. In spite of that, he liked being social, and similar to most of the Evangelisti’s he enjoyed telling funny stories, and entertaining others through his use of sarcasm and biting humor. My dad is the constant joker, my brother is the witty intellectual, and I am the “King of Sarcasm” (started a slang dictionary at age 10). Pete would periodically be “cornfused” with humorous texts I would send with my off-the-wall random slang incorporated into the content. Pete would frequently text Butch for the “David to English” translation.

As a youngster (junior high) I recall him taking us to the Mystic Aquarium in Mystic, CT, where my brother and I saw our first blue lobster. Later we spent the night at his house where we observed that he had a VHS VCR, and my father did not. Dad and Pete were always competing on who obtained new technology (or anything for that matter) first, and would often go out and buy something better upon discovering that one had temporarily gained an upper hand in their “Tech Supremacy Wars”. Pete’s movie collection was extensive, and of course Uncle Pete being the coolest uncle we opted to watch a couple of R-rated (plenty of nudity for adolescent young men) hospital comedy movies, and he signed off on it without hesitation. One was “Young Doctor’s in Love” (1982), and the other was “Night Shift” (1982). Yes, good times were always had with Uncle Pete.

Young Uncle Pete: Beatnik poet OR Wacky university professor?

I am dedicating this piece as a tribute to Uncle Pete, and I hope he is looking down and salivating over the food and beverage photos, dining with us in spirit, and Googling with his smart phone to educate himself on the dishes he is unfamiliar with. With much love, let us get started on this journey into unexplored territory where Bella and I observe, sniff, and indulge in all Chicago has to offer.

“The gladdest moment in human life, methinks, is a departure into unknowns lands.”
Sir Richard Burton

As our Uber drives us into the city I can immediately understand why others have said Chicago has both a Midwestern look as well as an East Coast look.

Hyatt Place: Chicago River North location

Our “king bed room with sofa bed” features nice city views, an L-shaped sofa, quality noise blocking windows, blackout curtains, and a very comfortable medium-firm mattress.

Upon arrival Bella and I enjoyed the Northwestern (Chicago) versus Nebraska college football game while enjoying a cup of hotel coffee, and complimentary caramel Stroopwafel’s I kept from the airplane.

Daelman’s caramel stroopwafel: Tasty airplane treat

Thankfully the airline provides something other than a mini sack of pretzels, or a Lotus biscoff biscuit.

Hyatt Place: Lobby and restaurant with bar

The hotel has a boutique hotel vibe, look, and feel. This trendy restaurant was the site for our included breakfasts. The breakfast includes items such as: donut holes; french toast sticks; bagels; fresh fruit; sausage links; scrambled eggs; yogurt; oatmeal; milk; juice, coffee etc.

Chicago has diverse architectural styles

After watching the Northwestern game we hit the bricks to explore and enjoy the city views, and Chicago’s Riverwalk.

Skyscrapers run rampant in this city.

Bella immediately notices that the abundance of trees and planter boxes have her feeling right at home via reminding her of a similar look in Taipei city.

Modern architecture is on display often…

In high school, this would have been a dream job for me after fantasizing of attending Northwestern’s journalism school, and going on to work for the Tribune. Of course Roger Ebert, Gene Siskel, and I would have occasionally lunched together to discuss the cinema. Yes, I was a dreamer type.

“Spilling a glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.”
Anonymous

Per the menu, this non-alcoholic beverage consists of orange, chinotto, and lemon.

Chinotto is a type of carbonated soft drink produced from the juice of the fruit of the myrtle-leaved orange tree (Citrus myrtifolia).

This carbonated “Orange Julius” type orange-lemon refreshing summer beverage has loads of orange citrus flavor with clear notes of lemon.

“In dog wine I have only had two glasses.”
Anonymous

Bella enjoyed this slightly bitter, crisp, non-sweet wine spritzer. The menu describes it as being “crisp, pleasant and orange”, and it is just that. It features a house apertivo blend, soda, and Prosecco.

“Beer is made by men, wine by God.”
Martin Luther

Monteverde: Burrata E Ham (prosciutto with prosciutto truffle butter)

I call this “build-your-own Italiano prosciutto burrata herb sandies”.

The peach apple fig relish was what made this next level! It was my favorite dish of the night. The soft bread with fantastic prosciutto, prosciutto truffle butter, fresh herb, delectable burrata cheese, and the relish closed the deal. The soft and amazing bread equated most closely to a morph of English muffin meets crumpet.

Per the menu, mancini bucatini, pecorino medoro, ricotta whey, four peppercorn blend. Bella was fully vested in this pasta.

The flavor is lemony, creamy, peppery, with perfect al dente texture.

“Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.”
Sophia Loren

This pasta consisted of house made ricotta, basil, tuscan pine nuts and Sardinian pecorino cheese.

Again, there is perfect al dente texture featuring superbly fresh aromatic basil via the oily pesto sauce, and it even had fresh basil leaves. This photo is the “after” photo after I stirred everything together.

NOTE: You will want to make reservations well (weeks) in advance if you want to get into Monteverde.

Per the menu, vanilla ice cream, Sparrow coffee roastery espresso, toasted coconut dark chocolate meringue “forgotten cookie”.

One of Bella’s favorite simple desserts of all time was a touch fancier here.

I love the urban rustic look beneath “The L” subway line. The design reminds me of NYC and I think of “The French Connection” movie with Gene Hackman. And of course Harrison Ford starring in “The Fugitive” which was filmed in Chicago.

Per some locals we spoke with it was only within the past few years that they really built up and beautified the riverwalk via cafes, bars, and tasty beverage shops. This is a perfect evening hang out spot in the summer.

For more information:

https://www.chicago.gov/city/en/sites/chicagoriverwalk/home.html

When I see Marina City I think of Steve McQueen starring in his last movie, “The Hunter” where he portrayed a real-life bounty hunter named Ralph “Papa” Thorson. In the movie a car launches off the parking garage, and into the Chicago River.

D’Amatos Bakery & Subs: Pistachio cannolo

At $3.50 it is fairly priced at Midwestern prices. It is medium-sized and the ricotta cream is of a loose consistency likely due to being pre-made (not filled after ordering), and not resting in a refrigerated case. I am assuming they strained the ricotta with cheese cloth because if you do not the ricotta will be watery. It has above average sweetness, which is too much for my Asian palate (by marriage only), but I love the loaded pistachios in each end. The lack of a firm cream, no sour tang taste, and the over-the-top sweetness made it not for me.

To date, my favorite cannoli came from Villabate Alba Bakery in Brooklyn, NY. And Cafe Zucchero in San Diego’s Little Italy.

We took the Ferris wheel with indoor cabs, quality air conditioning, and a view of the Navy Pier and city. What is not to like? As long as you are not scared of heights.

It is a warm day so it is nice to be on the water.

There are phenomenal views from up here. They send you on a few laps, and they pause at times for better photo taking opportunities.

Surprisingly this does not make me too nervous.

This shot has great perspective of the area, and city.

Navy facilities.

Navy Pier: View from near the end of the pier

After reaching the end of the pier we walk back to the shops to get a tasty beverage.

Tea Pot Brewery: Blueberry rooibos tea cooler

It is in the upper 80s’ today, and Bella is loving her hand-shaken blueberry rooibos tea cooler.

Tea Pot Brewery: Jasmine green tea orange citrus cooler

My hand-shaken jasmine green tea orange citrus tea cooler was excellent. It is so refreshing after walking under the hot sun.

“One of the reasons Arnold Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?”
U.S. Open Commentator

Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course: Old skool pro shop and restroom

This Edward B. Dearie Jr. designed nine-hole golf course has been around since 1932. On the ride to the course I observe that locals love their exercise during summer months. Along the lake there are loads of walkers, runners, bicyclists, and Rollerbladers.

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
Dean Martin

It is located on Lake Michigan, and will at times leave you feeling like you are golfing an imaginary golf course located in New York City’s Central Park with these views and fancy apartment buildings along the road.

Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course: Par 3 hole

Bella thought she left one of her rental clubs at a prior hole, so after racing around backtracking we hurry back to this nice looking par three hole where I run up to the tee box, and somehow fire off my best drive of the day. I “stuck that pig” with an iron shot landing, and staying put approximately 15 feet from the hole leaving me a pretty easy par putt which I made.

Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course: The “Golfing Squirrel” goes yard…

Bella has become a good sport enduring having 101 cute or funny nicknames via being married to a freelance writer. “The Golfing Squirrel” is one of my favorites when out on the links.

“While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.”
Henny Youngman

Starbuck’s Reserve Roastery: Michigan Avenue

There are only three Starbuck’s Reserve Roastery locations in the United States.

I hate to admit it, but these cannoli are better than the ones I had at 5-star restaurants in Chicago, or old skool Italian deli/bakeries.

Their medium-sized cannolo is dense with firmer ricotta cheese, a mostly crunchy shell (not as good as D’Amato’s), light sweetness, and orange rind and semi-sweet chocolate chips stuffed into each end. It would benefit from more chocolate chips, and a touch of sour tang on the tongue, but otherwise it is on point.

Starbuck’s Reserve Roastery: Bourbon whiskey infused cold brew coffee

This cold brew coffee is wonderful with light sweetness via a touch of vanilla syrup, and a pronounced oaked bourbon nose, and the same flavor in the mouth.

I have bourbon whiskey infused coffee beans (Don Pablo) at home, and I created a cold brew coffee in my Takeya cold brew coffee maker. It tasted different than this, but similarly it had an oaky bourbon sniff, and taste. I added some whole milk, and a few splashes of organic 365 brand Canadian dark maple syrup to complete the tasty java beverage.

This floor features coffee beverages, pastries, and cool coffee related fancy gifts. The 3rd floor features the artistry of coffee where they dig deep in creating coffee drinks, and there is a bakery as well.

Starbuck’s Reserve Roastery: 4th floor coffee cocktail bar

This floor features a cocktail bar with specialized coffee cocktails.

Starbuck’s Reserve Roastery: View from the rooftop deck

The rooftop deck is small, but it has partial city views.

The view from above inside the roastery makes sense in this architecturally rich city. Bella is more of a fan of Starbuck’s than I, but there are numerous drinks I enjoy there, but this offering is special, and we could see spending several hours here in comfortable chairs.

NOTE: I strongly recommend you visit on a week day on off hours (ex. later morning, mid-day etc.).

We are excited to dine at The Goat and the Girl restaurant knowing that Iron Chef winner Stephanie Izard is a co-owner and executive chef here. My wife’s local musician friend (travels the world) is very dialed in on cuisine, and beverage, and gave us all of our restaurant picks on this trip. As a result, we are dining slightly more upscale than we usually might. It is very loud inside, so do not plan on having intimate dinner conversation here with your party unless you are “hand-holding close” in proximity or better.

Rustic but hip.

They have aesthetically pleasing to the eye modern seating off of the bar. You do have to hunch over which resembles eating on the sofa at home, but obviously with award winning exciting cuisine in a trendy setting. We opt for this seating versus waiting longer for a standard table. Again, you will want to make reservations weeks in advance if possible.

“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.”
Harriet Van Horne

Per the menu, woodfire sprouted caulilini pickled peppers, pine nuts, parmesan, and garlic crunch.

For some it will seem bizarre to get “fired up” (pun intended) over a bowl of veggies, but the vegetable dishes here are loaded with flavor, contrasting texture, and are cooked to perfection with well thought out ingredients.

Per the menu, sautéed green beans, fish sauce vinaigrette, and cashews. Creamy, crunchy, and packed with flavor.

A very nicely prepared piece of halibut makes for pleasing healthy eating.

Per the menu, wood oven roasted pig face, sunny side egg, tamarind, cilantro, red wine-maple, and potato stix.

After eating one of these Bella and I are about to eat two more pig’s faces off — we love it that much. Crispy potato sticks, gooey egg, creamy sauce, tangy sweet sauce. It was a flavor texture bomb of a dish with mega contrast in texture, and flavor from bite to bite. But then we remember there is a dessert menu.

“People who love to eat are always the best people.”
Julia Child

The Goat and the Girl: “The Popcorn Situation”

Per the menu, cheesy butter cake, strawberry sumac jam, popcorn ice cream, and caramel corn.

Bella nearly tears this up on her own, but I utilize my “long arms of the law” to sneak in a few bites. This salty sweet push-pull contest is won by neither, but it wins “Best in Show” on our dessert table. It is visually stunning as well as being utterly fantastic. Neither dessert are too sweet, and we have recently seen these salty-sweet desserts at innovative restaurants which equate to a wild, and fantastic ride that you will not soon forget.

“Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate.”
Alan D. Wolfelt

The brown butter blondie is backed up by toasted sesame ice cream with brittle. Another salty sweet exploration with a really good blondie lying under a lot of delicious shrapnel. The cherry factor is the right companion with the other perfectly combined elements.

“Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.”
Ernestine Ulmer

I had to take a few images of the downtown Chicago “Nordy” for my AP colleagues back in Cali.

A very nice photo in spite of the eye sore font on the building on the right (ironically).

Fanny May: Salted caramel (left) and bourbon espresso chunk (right) ice creams

We sniff in for a bourbon espresso coffee ice cream which features coffee flavor that is more like coffee, but lacks espresso boldness which is a bummer. It is easy to find coffee ice cream, but finding true espresso ice cream is more of a challenge. It is medium sweet with nice bourbon flavor on the finish.

The salted caramel ice cream is medium sweet, creamy, milky with adequate caramel flavor. I am given a free sample chocolate as well, and it is pretty nice. I would say the quality level is similar to See’s Candies.

Chicago’s Classic Lady: Architectural Boat Tour

Unfortunately, it begins raining while we wait in line to board, but the staff are great and allow us to board early.

Regrettably the rain impacts my ability to obtain quality images. Such is life.

The docent is exceptional and very knowledgeable giving us details on the Chicago Tribune and various architectural styles (Art Deco, Mission Craftsman, modern etc.). Although, it is not always easy to hear.

The boat is a standard older short-term cruise boat. We have done similar boat tours in Tahoe and Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. These have nice restrooms, a bar and indoor and outdoor space with seating. I get some shots from underneath the overhang outside when the rain lightens up.

This could be calling for our next visit to the city.

This should be the other side of the Chicago Tribune building which is across the street from our lunch destination. This building with its Art Deco design, and gothic flair speaks to me, and instantly made me think of my buddy Paulie.

Art Deco meets gothic in Chicago: Chicago Tribune?

We are too busy searching for our restaurant to notice if this is the Chicago Tribune building.

Mushroom medley with truffle sauce. The creamy appealing sauce is delectable to the point you might wish it were a soup. There is nice truffle flavor without being offensive, rough or intrusive (some truffle dishes do not work for this reason). There is some tangy flavor to add diversity on the palate.

Octopus with salsa verde sauce. This creamy, smooth and herb rich (not tomato) sauce is a great rendition. It has a pleasant grassy herb heavy quality. The octopus does not taste grilled, or the pungent sauce overpowered a lightly grilled Cephalopoda. The texture is not chewy nor firm and snappy, but rather in between the two.

Pork belly with a thinner but flavorful lightly sweet BBQ sort of sauce. It has good fatty pork belly with some firmer char texture on the exterior. There is good contrast in composition from the exterior to the inner portions for variation.

Their Ricotta pie is not fluffy, or dense, but is closer to the fluffy side with light sweetness, cookie cannoli shell wafers on top to add differing texture. The passion fruit sauce is not traditional, but adds an interesting touch of tang (sour/sweet) which works for me since I like a orange citrus traditional cannolo with orange rind, or candied orange peel.

Thank goodness I ordered this as I briefly contemplated “being good” and vetoing ordering dessert. I would have been kicking my own ass for days for missing this opportunity. Bear in mind, I have created about a half a dozen cannoli pie recipes over the years.

“The main facts in human life are five: birth, FOOD, sleep, love, and death.”
E.M. Forster

Eli’s Cheesecake Company: Cherry cheesecake

We are able to pick up some cheesecake at O’Hare Airport, just like we did back in 2005. In a nutshell, “Chicago style” cheesecake uses cream cheese like New York cheesecake, but it is creamier, softer and Eli’s features a shortbread cookie crumb crust instead of the graham cracker crust typically used in New York cheesecake. Bella and I love ricotta cheesecake, and similarly, this cheesecake speaks to us more than New York cheesecake.

Cherry cheesecake has layered cherry blended in from the front tip to the back end. It has a shortbread cookie crust, a dense, smooth and creamy texture, with medium sweetness or a bit more. The continual tasty cherry flavor throughout each bite is quite pleasing.

Eli’s Cheesecake Company: Caramel cheesecake

Eli’s caramel cheesecake has chopped walnuts embedded into the the firm caramel layer on top. It is smooth, dense, and firm, but very creamy. For caramel, it is not crazy sweet which is surprising.

My favorite of the three slices of cheesecake is the plain cheesecake because it is the least sweet and I can drizzle a small amount of my 365 Organic Canadian Dark Maple Syrup on top of it. Yum!

The plain cheesecake has Madagascar vanilla bourbon used inside per their site. The cream cheese is smooth, creamy, dense, and delicious. There is clear light sweetness with a lean towards medium sweet with the vanilla taste prevailing. Even after I drizzle the maple syrup on part of it to add some delicious maple flavor it is still not too sweet considering maple syrup was added. Yes, sometimes “plain Jane”, or a slightly dressed up Jane is the best. Bella seconded my vote on this being the winner.

Well, it is time that I close out this food and travel voyage. And in the spirit of Uncle Pete, and looking up to Uncle Pete, I will borrow his standard greeting and say “Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy” until we meet again my beloved uncle. And I will leave him with a couple of quotes for the next time we meet, and “chin-chin” is heard as we touch wine glasses, and toast being together again.

“I will drink milk when cows eat grapes.”
Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

“Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all of one’s lifetime.”
Mark Twain

I will close with this song for Uncle Pete…

THE END…

Posted in cannoli, Food Reviews, golf, Travel | Tagged architectural boat tour, chicago cannoli, chicago cannolo, chicago river walk, chicago riverwalk, chicago's classic lady, chicagos classic lady, chicagos riverwalk, d'amatos bakery, damatos bakery, eli's cheesecake, elis cheesecake, fanny may, hyatt place chicago river north, monteverde, navy pier, starbuck's reserve roastery, stephanie izard, sydney r marovitz golf course, sydney r. marovitz golf course, tea pot brewery, the goat and the girl, the purple pig | 1 Comment

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